Earlier today, I had the unpleasant task of telling someone with whom I’d been in communication recently that I didn’t think we should take things any further. It wasn’t anything that he had done or said, I just wasn’t feeling a connection, and felt it best to end things sooner rather than later. We hadn’t yet met in person, but had planned to this evening. After stewing on it all morning, I sent him an email cancelling the meeting with about 6 hours’ notice. I wasn’t thrilled to do it that way, but I had no other way to contact him, and I tried to do it as nicely as possible. I honestly thought it was best to cancel rather than waste any more of either of our time with a meeting that was destined to go nowhere.
Apparently, I chose poorly.
Rather than get into the “he said/she said” of it, I wanted instead to take the opportunity to share some of the things I’ve learned about online dating. Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone. [No bashing, please. Let’s keep it classy.]
- Don’t expect everyone you meet to be “the one.” Let’s face it…if meeting your soulmate was easy, we wouldn’t need sites like match.com. You could just marry the first single person you bumped into on the street, and live happily ever after.
- There will be times when the one you’re interested in does not share the same interest. Try not to take it personally. Wish them luck and move on to your next match. A relationship is no good unless it’s good for the both of you, so don’t try to hold on to something that isn’t working for the other person. You’re not interested in every person you meet, so it’s not realistic to expect that every person you meet will be interested in you. (See item #1)
- Occasionally, you may have to let someone know that you don’t return *their* interest. Be honest, but kind. Think of how you’d feel if the situation were reversed.
- Be true to yourself. Don’t stick with something simply because you’re afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings or you’re afraid of their reaction. You can only be responsible for your own actions, and must act in accordance with your own feelings.
- Always go with your gut. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a gut feeling about someone that has turned out to be dead on. Learn to trust your instincts.
Sorry for the lame blog. Have a great night, everyone! 😉