That picture pretty much sums up my match.com experience thus far. I’ve had a lot of “views” – many of them from men who are significantly older, significantly shorter or who live halfway across the country, or – winner! – some combination of the 3. Of the 16 or so who have “winked” at me (that lovely passive-aggressive way that match.com allows someone to say, “hey, I dig you, but only enough to click this wink button, not enough to actually take the steps to open up an email and introduce myself”), literally HALF of them no longer have active profiles, so even if I wanted to respond, I couldn’t.
I’ve actually gotten emails from a few brave souls. So far there have been one or two that I’ve conversed back and forth with a little – but nothing has progressed past that point. One seemed promising for a minute, but as soon as I posted a picture that showed me from the neck down, the emails stopped coming. Oh well, I never said I was a supermodel, boys…BUT…I’m 40 pounds lighter than I was 8 months ago, and next summer when I’m showing off my new bikini bod courtesy of a careful regimen of air, water, and Weight Watchers meals, well, you’re gonna be sorry you missed this train! lol…Ok, maybe you won’t be sorry, but I *am* going to get there.
Determined not to sit back and wait for my own destiny to knock on my door, I’ve even sent a few emails myself, learning several things in the process.
- Emailing someone to let them know you’re interested is *hard*. You’re putting yourself out there, knowing that someone on the other end is basically going to be pulling out their checklist of wants and desires to see how you measure up, and once you hit that “send” button, it’s out of your control. For a control freak like me – it sucks.
- Waiting for a reply also sucks. I’ve initiated maybe 4 or 5 emails so far to men who have caught my proverbial eye, and have yet to receive a single response from any of them. Not even a “no, thank you.” One of them wasn’t even an attempt at connecting. I said in the email that I didn’t think I met his criteria, but I wanted to let him know that he had a great smile and was sure he’d have no problem finding his match. No response whatsoever. If I received an email like that, I’d make sure to thank them for the compliment at the very least, if nothing else.
- The last thing that I’ve learned is that I am most likely trying to date out of my league. lol…as I’ve stated before, I’m no supermodel, so it’s unfortunate that I find myself attracted to tall, athletic, good-looking men. Ah well, you can’t help what you like, right?
If nothing else, my experiences thus far have given me a new appreciation for what men go through when they ask a woman out. It’s strengthened my resolve not to let an email go answered in my inbox, even if it’s only to say, “thank you so much for your interest, but I don’t think we’d make a good match.”
I’ve got 2 more months before my subscription runs out. I’ll let you know how it goes!
1 thought on “Matchless in Maryland?”
I used to tell my kids that if anyone, ANYONE, ever asked you out or paid you a compliment, that they’d better make damn sure they were polite with whatever response they chose to give. Like you said, they didn’t have to go out with that person, but they did have to respond because putting yourself out there is a huge step and one that could easily lead to self esteem issues for someone if not handled well.
Good for you for taking the risk, but understand that you are a unique individual for your courtesies to others. You’d hope it was more common, but alas and alack. Don’t let the absence of a reply get you down. Just look at it as tossing back someone you weren’t going to be interested in anyway.
Yay, you! I know you hate to hear it from me, but I’m really routing for you. I’m so happy to see you taking the bull by the horns and at least asking him to dance. You deserve a good one.