So, I guess the big news is that I’m moving in just over 1 week. Approximately 2,900 miles across the country. To Oregon.


Forgive that minor freak out. I’m ok now. I think. Anyway…

As I said, in just 8 short days (!!!) I’ll be pulling up 44 years’ worth of East Coast girl roots, loading up the car, and driving 5 days across the country with my brother and 5 cats (!!!) so I can finally see how the other half (of the country) lives.

The 5 day drive aside for a moment, this move is going to be quite an adjustment. First, I’m moving to an area that is fairly…remote. Where I am now, anything you could possibly want is a 10 minute drive away. Where I’m going, add an hour and a half to that. The closest Target? An hour and a half. The closest Walmart? An hour and a half. A shopping mall? Oh, that’s in Portland…and hour and a half away. Don’t get me wrong, there are grocery stores, gas stations, restaurants, a movie theater…it’s not as if it’s one stop sign and a general store…it’s just that things are not quite as accessible as I am used to. Second, the area we’re moving to is a large dairy farm community. Lots of fields. Fields need fertilizer. Fertilizer smells suspiciously like shit. Really. Sometimes this town literally smells like shit. Thankfully, the house is a few miles outside of town, in the safe-smell zone. The third adjustment is that I will be living in a house with my mother and my daughter…which means I will never get laid again.

BUT…there is a payoff, and here it is:


That, my friends is the view from our new deck…on the 2 days per year that it isn’t raining, anyway. So excited!

So as I briefly mentioned above, I will be driving across the country with 5 cats. Two are mine. Three are my mother’s. They hate each other.

This should be interesting…stay tuned…

2 thoughts on “Mooo-ving…”

  1. Conflatulence! Your mooove must be exciting!
    Just think,, you can look forward to all those horny farm boys! And the sheep need a break!

    When I was younger I ran into a young lady who was on her way to boot camp. She needed all the sex she could get. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t take advantage of women in distress, but it was my fucking patriotic duty, or maybe my patriotic fucking duty! Any way, I serviced the service member with my member. So if I can be of service please don’t hesitate to call! 410.746.3832.

    I can assure you that my inadvertent potty misadventures have declined since my unfortunate bear hunt.

    I will miss your humor. Only wish we had enjoyed it in person

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