I absolutely love it when good material is just handed to me on a silver platter.
Thankfully, my 3-month subscription to Zoosk (a.k.a. Hornyloserville) finally ran out, and in an unexpected moment of giddy euphoria, I somehow got the idea that signing up for match.com again would be a wise thing to do. Today, the owner of this little gem of a profile “winked” at me on match.com. For the record, he says that he lives in Wyoming, which is surely at least 57 minutes away (maybe more, geography never was my strong suit), and therefore way too far to drive for a date.
I’m fairly sure that this train wreck is due mostly to the fact that English is not this gentleman’s first language, but on the off-chance that this isn’t his issue, I am grateful for every single one of those 57 minutes…
Lot of people said am funny cute handsome oh well am very good at things like keeping good company with someone who truly deserve it, like to spend hugs time together (“hugs time”? Does he mean those nasty plastic containers of “juice” that parents used to give us as treats when we were kids? You remember…the juice was always red or blue, tasted like crap, and was served in something that looked suspiciously like a plastic wine barrel) just making each other happy with some kinds of hilarious funny pricks jokes (what is hilarious and funny, the jokes, or the pricks?) and just making the day light up with great smile. i grew up reading many great love stories and still believe there is a girl who wishes to be treated the Princess. When I find her she will never get away from me. (because you are going to shackle her to the wall in your basement, most likely)
I will smother her with (a pillow?) love attention affection caring compassion and HONOR. I will never take for granted a single hair on her body. (um…is she a Sasquatch?) Every square inch of her I will cherish.
Her good qualities will be the better and her bad qualities will be perfectly flawed in my eyes. (what?) When I find you please don’t say no? Never say no. (no, no, no, no, NO, and HELL NO) and I tell you what – online classes are no joke!! (random subject change…did someone forget their Ritalin this morning?)I never realized how time comsuming they would be. But there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
5 thoughts on “Weirdo in Wyoming”
Jenny, I think you should take off the part of your profile that says, “I’m really into strange guys that don’t speak well. Please, please, please send me an email that shows me just how far out there you are and I’ll post the winning entry for the week on my blog.”
It’s just not fair to those of us who have to work really hard to come up with something to write about in our blogs. ;0)
I believe she must have signed up for the “Likes to Court Danger” section of Match.com
Oddly enough, his profile is no longer active on match.com.
What can I say? The “Unavailable Married Men Only” section wasn’t taking new subscribers.
You are so weird that is so cool, I am so ready for the Zombie Apocalypse…you should keep my email handy !!!