…it’s been nearly 3 months since my last blog. How many Hail Mary’s do I owe you?
I was going to say that I’m sure you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to hear a full accounting of everything I’ve been up to since last I wrote, but as we all know that is total crap, I’ll keep such superciliousness to myself and instead wonder aloud from where exactly the phrase “bated breath” originates, anyway.
(Please note that at this time I have paused, mid-blog, to google the origin of the phrase……………Got it. I can now proceed.)
So where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh yes. I was going to give you a rundown of all the amazing, wonderful things I’ve been up to since March. As the actual list would take all night to write, and you’d all be so insane with jealousy by the time you finished reading it tomorrow afternoon that you’d probably never want to speak to me again, I’ll instead limit myself to just a few bullet points. Here goes:
- At the beginning of April, I got a promotion to Assistant Registrar…and if you’re thinking, “hey, isn’t that kind of what you were doing before?” the answer is yes. Absolutely. For the last 2 years. Now, however, I get to do it as a salaried employee. (Translation: I get to work more hours, but no longer get paid for any overtime I put in. Yay me!)
- After at least a year of complaining that my back hurt, I finally went and bought a new mattress in May. It’s not a pillow top, but it *is* the softest thing ever, pretty much guaranteeing that no one will ever want to sleep with me on it. I think I may be the last person alive who really likes a soft mattress.
- I’ve signed on to chaperon another trip to Europe in 2013. I’ll be going with the same group as last time, a Baltimore children’s chorus that will be performing in several locations in France. I was told that 2 of the girls who were in my group on the Italy trip have requested me for their chaperon again…so I guess the bribes and liquor paid off!
- I took a little mini vay-cay to Florida over the long Memorial Day weekend. I went by myself, though I think my mother still secretly believes I snuck a man down there with me. I believe that I will save the details of the trip for another blog, but suffice it to say, I had a nice, relaxing time.
- For the last few months, I have been carrying on a completely inappropriate relationship with the absolute love of my life. My kindle. It keeps me up to all hours of the night, because it’s just…so…easy. Gone are those days when finishing a book meant a trip to the book store or the library for some new material. Now, you just tap a button on the screen, and voila! A new book is downloaded in seconds, no matter the time of day. Instant gratification. It came in handy on my trip to Florida (see bullet point #4 above), too, because I was able to read all 3 books in the 50 Shades trilogy without anyone else knowing about the smut in which I was indulging.
Well, folks, I’m sure I’ve bored you enough for one evening. It’s after midnight (I just had a Thriller moment there…), and I have a dentist appointment at 8:30 in the morning. Feel free to comment below, and let me know what exciting things YOU’VE been up to since March.
2 thoughts on “Forgive me WordPress, for I have sinned…”
I think you’ve finally hit on the one thing that might make me consider giving up paper books, and that’s the part about no on knowing what kind of drivel (or intellectually stimulating material), I’m choosing to read. Otherwise, I’ll keep the paper. I can drop it, I can stuff it in my purse with no extra case. It doesn’t need batteries or electricity. I can go to the library and find things I never would have found if I was tapping a selection that someone else chose to upload and make available digitally. I can talk to the bookseller and develop a (dare I say it) relationship with them. I can lose the book and not have lost my library (I know I can store it in the cloud, but still). I am a Luddite in this realm and I’m going to stay that way for as LONG as I can….. although I fear my days are numbered.
Yes, yes, there is all that, although…1) the kindle weighs about the same as a book would weigh, and it is slimmer…so it would fit even better in your purse, and you wouldn’t have to worry about bending up the pages – besides, how many books can you fit in your purse comfortably? Two? Three? With a kindle, you could fit HUNDREDS in there, 2) I’ve had my kindle since Christmas, and I think I’ve charged it a total of 5 times. It’s got great battery life, and 3) start up a relationship with too many booksellers, and Frank’s gonna have a problem….the kindle could be what saves your marriage.