10 Things that Irritate the Living Sh*t Out of Me

Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s a blog. Don’t have a stroke or anything.

10. Email Idiots. These are the people who reply to an email without actually answering the question that you originally asked them. An Email Idiot may also be defined as “a person who asks a question in an email reply that has already been answered in the email to which they are replying.” Another good title for these people would be, “Those Who Cannot Read.” Here is an example of an Email Idiot:

I was asked to send a document to someone in the home office. When I emailed the document, I noted in the email, “I didn’t create the document, so I am unable to remove the password protection from it, so when you try to open it, the password you should use is ‘blueberry’.” That was ALL my email said. Not a whole lot of text to wade through, right? A few minutes later, here was the reply, “Thank you for sending me this document, however, I am unable to open it because it requires a password.” Douche.

9. People who argue just for the sake of arguing. I’m not sure why it is exactly that you think I have nothing better to do than argue with you, but really, in all honestly, I am sure that I can find at least 800 better ways to spend my time. Besides, coming to argue with me about the proper procedure to follow on a policy that *I wrote*…well, hmm…realistically, who do you think is gonna come out the winner in this one? Did I mention I WROTE THE POLICY? What good is asking your boss going to do you? I WROTE THE POLICY. I’m pretty sure that means I know the procedure, since, well, I FREAKING WROTE IT.

8. Christmas before Thanksgiving. Sorry folks, but it’s true. Many, many years of working in retail has pretty much jaded me to the holiday season. I don’t *completely* hate it, but please, can’t we keep the Christmas music out of the mall and the multi-colored lights off of our balconies until at least Black Friday?

7. People who ask me a question with no intention whatsoever of listening to my answer. This happened to me today:

Him: How do I fill out this form?
Me: Well, you put this here, and that there. (not really relevant to the story)
Him: Hmm. That’s not what Cathy said.
Me: Well, what did Cathy say?
Him: She said to put that here, and this there.
Me: That’s not exactly right. The way I told you to do it is right.
Him: Well, I’m going to do it the way Cathy said.
Me: In that case, why did you bother to come and ask me?
Him: I couldn’t find Cathy.

Schmuck

6. People who believe that “effective communication” means getting their point across by talking loudly over me while I am trying to make my own point in the conversation. (The entire Admissions department at work is made up of REALLY effective communicators…really…come to one of our 2 hour Tuesday meetings sometime…ugh)

5. Bad Chinese Food. I mean, c’mon. You get yourself all geared up for some good wonton soup, only to discover that it tastes like week-old dishwater.

4. Waking up 5 minutes before the alarm goes off. That’s 5 more minutes I could have been trying to sleep!

3. Someone who would rather that 15 other people add a step to their process just so he doesn’t have to run 1 simple report that would give him the exact same information.

2. Coworkers who are nasty to you when you’re alone, but act like they are suddenly the most cooperative people in the world when you go to their boss to complain.

1. Coworkers as described in Irritating Thing #2 who follow you into their bosses office when you are about to complain about their behavior, so that you aren’t able to launch into the hysterical rant you’ve just worked yourself into. There is nothing worse than having a GREAT rant all ready to go, and then having to stifle it. I think I may have caused myself some internal damage. Really.

Wow…I made it…all 10. That was easier than I thought. Maybe I shoulda gone for 20…