Something’s fishy here in Elkridge…

As a part of her weekly chores, my daughter is supposed to cook dinner (usually with my help) at least one night per week. Yesterday, I asked her what night she wanted to cook this week, and what she planned to make. Her reply: “We could make salmon.” Ooooook.

For those of you who don’t know me (and those who only *think* you do), I don’t eat fish. Well, for the most part, anyway. As far as seafood is concerned, I will eat tuna – fresh from the can, as tuna salad only! – and shrimp. That’s it. When I was a child, we ate fish from time to time, but it definitely wasn’t a big staple in our lives. On the few occasions that I do remember eating fish, however, I can remember complaining to my mother afterwards that my mouth felt funny – it itched, and my tongue would feel puffy. I can also remember her making fun of me when I would make these claims, telling me that it was all in my head, and I was fine.

It was only years later as I took a First Aid and Emergency Medical Services course in college that I realized those were symptoms of anaphylactic shock – I was allergic to that fish, and my mother was trying to kill me! Bad mom, bad! When I asked what type of fish it was that she used to feed us, the plan being that I would avoid eating it in the future, she conveniently could not seem to remember…Hmmmm….

Anyway, because I am not really certain which fish will kill me and which will not, I make a point to just avoid it altogether. My daughter knows this, so I am now convinced that she and my mother are in cohoots to bump me off so that they can inherit my millions. Just wait until they find out that I am leaving everything to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Two-Legged Albino Zebras. That’ll fix ’em.

Seriously, though, I have had salmon in the past with no reaction, so I figured it was pretty safe… and far be it from me to discourage my daughter when she wants to cook something that is more involved than microwaving a hot dog for 60 seconds. We found a recipe, shopped for the ingredients, and came home to make some salmon. Megan did most of the work herself, with me supervising and occasionally yelling (yes, I am Mother of the Year!). While the fish was in the oven, she made us each a small salad. Unfortunately I did not stay in the room to supervise that, and wound up with a bowl of 10 lettuce leaves smothered in two cups of salad dressing.

When the salmon was ready, I served it up with a slice of crusty Italian bread, and we sat down to eat. I took my first bite and realized…………………………….I hate fish. I’m glad I’m allergic to it – it gives me a great excuse not to eat it! Megan, on the other hand, ate her first helping, then came back for seconds…and thirds. In fact, she ate the entire fillet herself other than the 2 bites I ate. She didn’t even come back for extra bread – which is completely unheard of!

I just wish I knew if the salmon recipe we used really was good, or if Megan just didn’t want to admit she’d made some bad food. Quick – someone else make it, and tell me if its good. Here is the recipe we used, found on

Maple Salmon


1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 pound salmon


  1. In a small bowl, mix the maple syrup, soy sauce, garlic, garlic salt, and pepper.
  2. Place salmon in a shallow glass baking dish, and coat with the maple syrup mixture. Cover the dish and marinate salmon in the refrigerator for 30 minutes, turning once.
  3. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (or 200 degrees C if you live in one of those uncivilized places that uses centigrade).
  4. Place the baking dish in the preheated oven (DUH!!!!), and bake salmon uncovered for 20 minutes, or until easily flaked with a fork.

That’s all you’re going to get out of me tonight – the 2 hour season finale of LOST is on! Later!

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