Stop trying to change my mind and change your own!

I feel like my blog is turning into a never-ending rant about the nutjobs with whom I speak on the internet. If nothing else, I suppose they keep me well-stocked with writing material, but come on, are the only normal people on the web the few that are already on my buddy list? (Oh, and please note that I am using the word *normal* loosely so that I can include all of you in the group – you know who you are! )

As you all know, when you sign up for a Yahoo account, you are supplied with a profile page that can be displayed in the Yahoo directory if you so choose, so that other Yahoo users can see it should you meet whatever particular search criteria they enter. It’s meant to supply some basic information about you such as your age, location, relationship status, and any other information you feel is pertinent to include. After receiving way too many random instant messages from married men, teenagers, and octogenarians, I included the following blurb on mine:

Ok, I was hoping this wouldn’t be necessary, but apparently it is. If you are a) MARRIED, b) CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP, c) YOUNG ENOUGH THAT MY 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WOULD CHECK YOU OUT, or d) OLD ENOUGH THAT YOU AND MY DAD WOULD GET ALONG FAMOUSLY, please don’t waste my time and yours. I have no interest in a) helping anyone cheat on their significant other, b) being a mother to anyone that did not spring forth from my womb, or c) spending my Saturday nights emptying anyone’s colostomy bag. Thank you. 😀 If you do feel that you pass the above criteria, please keep in mind that as I am a self-proclaimed spelling and grammar nazi, IMing me with, “Hi. How ru? Cn we chat l8tr plz?” is not going to work. I like complete sentences and words that are spelled according to Merriam-Webster. This does not mean that I will stop speaking to someone over a typo (I may even make them myself occasionally), but people who are too lazy to type out entire words, or who don’t know the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”, are a huge pet peeve of mine.

So…I knew that this wouldn’t put an end to the freakshow, but hoped it would at least take it down a few notches. Instead, the IMs now just come with a disclaimer. “I know I don’t fit your criteria, but….” Why is it that you can flat out tell someone what you do or do not want, and they seem to then feel that it is their God-given duty to try and change your mind? Here is a conversation I had yesterday:

randomnutcase: very attractive pic and great quote in your profile....I don't meet your requirements (not cause of the bag though)...but wanted to let you know that you brightened my, thanks !

(That seemed like an innocent-enough comment, so I decided to actually reply for a change.)

Me: well thank you, that's nice to hear!
randomnutcase: no, thank you
Me: ok then, you're welcome. lol
randomnutcase: if i wasn't married you would be in trouble (or I would be, who knows) lol
Me: lol...then I guess I should consider myself lucky that you're married. I hate being in trouble!
randomnutcase:well, i promise this trouble would have been the fun trouble to be in !!
randomnutcase: you know, the kinda trouble you love to be in

Ok, I'm starting to see where this is going, but still the little hopeful voice in me wants to think that they're not *all* pigs.

Me: I don't know what you mean.
randomnutcase: lol, right
randomnutcase: the perfect angel that you are
randomnutcase: so, i see your not only very very pretty...your also very witty and seem to have a great personality !!
Me: yeah, yeah, I'm a regular Miss Universe
randomnutcase: you are very pretty !
randomnutcase: don't doubt yourself
randomnutcase: have you ever been married ?
Me: yes
Me: I got over it
randomnutcase: how long ago did you drop the bum ?
randomnutcase: lol
Me: oh, 100 years ago, at least
randomnutcase: lol
randomnutcase: what a loser he must have been
randomnutcase: letting someone like you go
Me: nah...just not the one for me
randomnutcase: what ?
randomnutcase: not just one, you mean you have had a couple losers ?

So now I know that not only is he a married pig, but he can't read either...

Me: no, I said he was just *not* the *one* for me. randomnutcase: ohhhhhhhhhhhh
randomnutcase: have you found the "ONE" yet ?
randomnutcase: or are all guys just losers ?
Me: I'm not sure the two questions are mutually exclusive., I have not found the "one" yet, but I hope they're not all losers
Me: anyway, I have to get back to work now, the boss is looking at me funnier than usual
randomnutcase: lol
randomnutcase: ok
randomnutcase: thanks for talking
randomnutcase: can i add as a friend, or is it worthless for me to even try ?
Me: if you're a married guy trying to get some on the side, then yes, don't waste your time.
randomnutcase: i have no chance at all
randomnutcase: darn
randomnutcase: can i at least try ?
randomnutcase: lol
Me: no, I have enough trouble fighting off an ex of mine who is married now
Me: I don't need any more of you!
randomnutcase: i wouldn't be a pain in the ass
randomnutcase: (well, just a little)
randomnutcase: lol


randomnutcase: your just a little itsy bitsy interested ( I am hoping here)...maybe just give me like a week long trial to talk to you ?

Did I mention that his profile says he is 47 years old and that there is no photo? In what am I supposed to be "just a little itsy bitsy interested"?

Me: for what purpose?
randomnutcase: hmmmmmmmm
randomnutcase: in hoping i could persuade you
randomnutcase: to meet me

And there it is...

Me: no
randomnutcase: ok

So at this point I am just exasperated with men in general. He is the second married man to try and "persuade me" in less than 6 hours.

Me: what is it with you guys? Why get married if you don't want to be with one person??
randomnutcase: i did at one time
randomnutcase: but the well runs dry so to speak
Me: well that's why God made divorce court. lol
randomnutcase: yep
randomnutcase: but than the women don't want to talk to you v they just want to take you for everything you got

Huh? So the theory is that once you're divorced women only want to take you for everything you've got? Funny, I always thought that once the first wife had divorced you, there really wasn't anything left to take - she got it all in the settlement!

Me: Oh? They're more interested in someone that's taken?
randomnutcase: not all
randomnutcase: women are as bad as men
Me: I wouldn't know...I don't usually have married women hitting on me.
randomnutcase: one reason i have liked talking to you on here...the first words out of your mouth weren't sex related
randomnutcase: most women start out or soon thereafter only want to talk about sex

Why do I find that sooooo hard to believe??

Me: none of the women I know. lol
randomnutcase: whereas you are just very good natured
Me: so why would their talking about sex bother someone whose ultimate goal is to meet for sex?
randomnutcase: because it isn't only all about sex
randomnutcase: it is about going to dinner and talking to someone
randomnutcase: it's about watching a movie on tv and cuddling up together on the sofa or in front of the fireplace
randomnutcase: it's about cooking dinner for someone and having them appreciate it
randomnutcase: or sending them flowers and getting just a thank you phone call
randomnutcase: i am not just all about sex
Me: so where is your wife while you're doing all that talking and dinnering and movieing and cuddling? lol...I'm just curious
randomnutcase: she doesnt' like to do any of what i just mentioned...i like to go on weekend trips up to NYC or Atlantic City....she sends me off by myself
randomnutcase: which is fine
randomnutcase: i don't mind, cause i enjoy going to both places
randomnutcase: i go to the gym alot, asked her to start going also...tried to do something together like that.....she went for about 2 weeks
Me: ahh
randomnutcase: but what the heck, we only live once....gotta have fun and smile
Me: yeah well, unfortunately I am a greedy little girl and don't like to share my toys. lol

In other words, Leave Me Alone!

randomnutcase: defintely can be, cause you have the looks and the personality that all guys
would die for !

Me: yes, that's why they're lined up at the door! lol...ok, I really need to get back to work now
randomnutcase: so, we shouldn't add each other as friends ?
Me: Like I said, there's no point if that's what you're looking for. I'm not interested in someone that's married.
randomnutcase: i might change your mind !
randomnutcase: 🙂
Me: Why would I want you to?
randomnutcase: i don't know yet
Me: I mean, why would I want to give you the opportunity to convince me to do something that I think is wrong?
randomnutcase: oh
randomnutcase: are you a lawyer, coming up with these tough questions and all
randomnutcase: 🙂
randomnutcase: and knowing there is no right answer
Me: not even close.
Me: maybe I missed my calling
randomnutcase: cause i intrigue you a little (not alot yet, just a little)
randomnutcase: heck, you might not even like to hug, but i am taking that chance !
randomnutcase: 🙂

Once again, what is supposed to be intriguing about a faceless person 10 years my senior when the only thing I know about him thus far is that he does not know how to be faithful to the woman in his life?

Me: I don't hug married men. lol
randomnutcase: give me a chance, let me change your mind and get a dream come true ( a hug from an exceptionally beautiful woman)
randomnutcase: heck, just let me take you out to dinner down at the Inner Harbor some evening
Me: no, thank you
randomnutcase: turning down a free dinner ?
randomnutcase: ok


Am I a magnet?

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